[ Giveaway at the end of this blogpost! :D ]
I was sent this book for review and I have to admit that I thought it was just another book from a prolific author. But reading ‘Love Without Limits’ has given me valuable insights into making relationships and marriages work. More importantly, this book also offers hope to singles who are pining for a soulmate – “Never give up on love… because God planted that desire in your heart for a purpose” – and I encourage singles to pick up a copy of this book too.
Nick is not just a motivational speaker. He is also an “anti-bullying activist” and I’d love to follow in his footsteps! But one thing at a time, yes? *wink*
You might ask me who this book is for and I’d say “everyone” because Nick also got his wife, Kanae, involved in the writing of this book for both the ‘male’ and ‘female’ perspectives towards dating and marriage. Why is this important?
Just this week, I turned down a TV show opportunity (no need for added publicity) and had dinner with a JC pal I have not met in a long time. At our last meetup, she was deeply in love with a man three years our senior and was taking great pains to integrate herself into their (snobbish) family culture. Fast forward to our meetup, and she’d already broken up with said guy for over a year.
I asked her why she did not want to work things out with him and had so quickly said goodbye. After all, he did ask to meet her after she’d initiated the breakup. I felt that he had not hurt her so irreparably that she would stop loving him, i.e. he hadn’t actually done anything ‘wrong’. Her reply was that he had hurt her by allowing her to leave, and that if you really love someone, you will not let that person go so easily. [Which goes against that popular saying of “If you really love someone, let him/her go”, no?]
I told her that it is just the female point of view. That when you say to a man that you want a breakup, he hears it as something like “I hate you and I never want to see you again. Go and die.” when what you actually meant was “Prove to me that you love me and will never want to be apart from me”.
My friend told me that things might have turned out differently if she had spoken with me a year ago. Well, then I hafta start charging for such sessions, ya? :D #kidding
~
Because of his lack of limbs, Nick does not quite look like the average man. And I mean no offence by saying this. So I’m curious about what Kanae sees in him. And in her own words:
I was hoping to one day find a mature, godly man who would try to work out our disagreements instead of just letting them stew… [and] make me feel like the priority in his life just as he would be the priority in mine… A man who would care for my dreams as much as I cared for his.
Kanae’s advice for relationship and marital bliss is that “You have to be willing to forgive, to put others first, and to work on your own flaws and failings”.
And I have picked out the top 11 tips I gathered from reading this book – you might be drawn to others when you read ‘Love Without Limits’, but here are those which resonated with me…
Nick Vujicic’s 11 Tips for Relationship & Marital Bliss:
1) Accept that maybe the love of your life won’t exactly fit your perception of the perfect person for you / someone not at all like you had imagined.
2) On page 88: Again, I caution you not to get engaged “because it seems the right thing to do” or because “the timing is right.” Marriage is a long-term commitment. You should only step into that commitment if you truly love the person and want to spend your life with her. You should think hard before marrying someone if you can’t forgive, overlook, accept or deal with issues that you may have with that person.
3) Embrace each other’s families and friends as part of the relationship, as long as they bring you closer.
4) Submit to each other in marriage through loving attentiveness and empathy, rather than setting unreasonable or selfish expectations by demanding that your own needs and desires come first and foremost.
5) Talk about the good and the bad of past relationships.
6) Understand and ease your partner’s insecurities and fears so your relationship will grow stronger. True love is reciprocal in that both people want the best for each other. They don’t worry about who gets more or gives more. There is no keeping score. They simply want to be with each other as much as they possibly can, for as long as they possibly can. The secret isn’t to focus on yourself less, it’s to care about your spouse more
7) “Can you imagine your life without this person?”
8) If you don’t grow together, you grow apart. Don’t take each other for granted.
9) Being right isn’t nearly as important as being together. Keep no record of wrongs. Don’t take conflicts personally. Let go of hurtful feelings and focus on making the marriage better, not bitter. Never go to bed angry. You have to be humble enough to ask God for help, especially when you feel your emotions running away with you, old insecurities reigniting, and hurtful words forming on your lips. God can go to your heart and put out those self-destructive fires.
10) Remember that “It doesn’t matter how nice your home is. You could lose the house and all of your earthly possessions in a very short period. What truly matters is the strength of your faith and the loving bonds you share with those who matter most to you”
11) Daily steps to strengthen your bond: (1) Start The Day Together, (2) Keep The Romance Alive, (3) Date Nights, (4) Mini Trips or Vacations, (5) Be A Friend With Benefits, (6) Go Out With Other Couples Who Really Like Each Other, (7) Live, Love and Laugh
I think Nick and Kanae have got it down pat when they describe a blissful relationship or marriage is when “each considers the other a blessing”. Who are the blessings in YOUR life? What will you say to them today? What will you do for them today? How will you make them feel like they are a priority in your life? :)
{ Giveaway }
To win a copy of ‘Love Without Limits’, leave a comment here and tell me which is your favorite out of the 11 tips above :)
It’s that simple!
*Only for residents of Singapore.
*Giveaway ends 25th April 2015, 23:59hrs.
