When I shared with a couple of friends that I was pregnant, one actually asked if I’d conceived naturally or via IVF! LOL! I’ll tell you my answer in a bit. And when I was with a KKH nurse who was advising me on how to prepare for my then-upcoming cesarean section, she said “OH you’re going for a 2-in-1!” (referring to my csect AND cystectomy which is the removal of a cyst). And I said yah, it almost became a 3-in-1 surgery, because I had a cyst on the right ovary (and it was a ginormous cyst), and one more on the left (smaller, so we’re leaving it to hopefully disappear on its own). And she asked… “So where did baby come from?” I shrugged, and we laughed.
Ahh… when taking care of this baby feels really tough… I remind myself of how difficult it was to get pregnant in the first place. Oh man. You know how some people simply have a night of drunkenness and then find themselves pregnant after? I know such people. And no, I’m not one of them.
If you’re struggling to conceive, like I was, then living in Punggol is the worst. At one point, I hated going to Waterway Point as there were so many pregnant ladies flaunting their bulging bellies. Everywhere I looked, there’s a lady who’s pregnant, or someone carrying a wee baby. SIGH. And then there’s external pressure, such as an in-law who’d (quite) regularly mention that so-and-so had become a grandparent for the THIRD TIME or so-and-so’s daughter-in-law is pregnant again! And when I hear such nonsense, it’s like (1) Who the – toot – is this person?! and (2) Can someone please advise them to stop breeding like rabbits? 
So from the initial “We’re letting Nature take its course”, it progressed to the eventual outright dismissal of “No, we do not intend to have kids” whenever someone asked THE QUESTION.
We did try, OK. It just wasn’t happening.
We did go for a fertility health checkup too but I chickened out of the pelvic examination. My ovarian reserve was good back then (according to the blood test) so I figured we could try and then leave it up to God. If it’s in His plan, it’s gonna happen anyway… even if I’m 70 years old when it happens. XD And besides, people always say that children are gifts from God… so if I were to go for IVF or in any way try to get pregnant via other means, then am I not trying to wrestle a gift from God? It’s like trying to arm-twist someone into giving you something RIGHT NOW, instead of trusting, waiting and staying in faith.
So yup… it’s been a long wait. And now we finally have Melody. The ‘Trying To Conceive’ Journey has been tiring. And the ‘Caring For Baby’ Journey is even more tiring. My darling was telling me this morning how he’s not been having good sleep at night and I said you can either have a baby or have great sleep, but not both. True ya, parents? 
[*And he’s the one who REALLY wanted to have a baby. I’d kind of given up trying and was embracing the childfree=carefree lifestyle. SO I’m letting him embrace the night feeds and diaper changes. Hehehehe]
And… you’ve probably already guessed. NO IVF for us. And with the benefit of hindsight, it’s probably a good decision. In case we got TWINS via IVF. OMG that would be a nightmare. One is already very difficult to handle. With two… my soul will leave my body.
Apart from the above-mentioned reasons for why we did not consider IVF a viable option, there’s also the cost consideration. And also how IVF is not a surefire, foolproof method of getting a baby. You can try and fail, and try and fail, and your desired outcome may just never happen. Can you deal with the heartbreak?
In any case, the topic of fertility, or infertility, is close to my heart and I love attending webinars so…
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I attended the ‘Know Your Fertility Wellness’ Seminar organised by social service agency I Love Children in March 2023. It was a hybrid seminar – you can attend in-person at SCAPE and pay $8 or watch it over Zoom for free. I picked the latter, guessing that most people would do the same but I was surprised at how tickets for the seminar at SCAPE were all SOLD OUT! The folks who attended in-person got to enjoy refreshments as well as take a Clearblue goodie bag home. I attended over Zoom, filled out the feedback form and also got a goodie bag I collected from ILC’s office in Sengkang. 
I wish we’d attended something like this earlier when we were trying for a baby. My goodness. It took so many years before we finally got Melody.
If you’re curious about how much ‘Assisted Conception Procedures’ may cost, here’s some info on co-funding from the Government…
And here are some takeaways from the session:
- When trying for a baby, yes, unfortunately, your love-making sessions can end up seeming more like ‘work’ than the pursuit of pleasure.
- Doing scans too early can lead to anxiety as the scans will likely pick up something, e.g. cysts, fibroids, etc. (OMG so true for me!) Try for a year first.
- If you are under 35, try for 1 year. If you are above 35, try for 6 months then go get help.
- When trying to get pregnant, it would be helpful to tackle the lifestyle diseases you may have first, such as obesity, hypertension, and diabetes.
- Do note that 25 percent of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. You must have a positive mindset. Know that the abnormal DNA is not within your control.
- Do not store up sperm as this causes a loss in vitality. Men should clear their semen every 2 to 3 days. Fresh young sperm give you the best chances of getting pregnant.
- You can consider IUI too. It costs something like 1K to 3K at KKH. There’s a 5 to 15 percent success rate depending on the type of IUI.
- You can ejaculate into a bottle and syringe the semen into your partner thus bypassing the problem of not getting a hard enough erection.
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At one point many moons ago, I was almost doing handstands to get the sperm to where it needs to be. Super dumb move. But it seemed wise at the time since the pillow-under-bum tip did not help at all. Muahaha. Please don’t do this OK! You’re just giving the sperm a free ride. You obviously want the strongest, fastest, most determined and most deserving sperm to fertilise the egg. So that fella’s gotta do it on his own! You don’t want the half-past-six CMI sperm to get a free ride to the egg. So the best thing to do is to stay still for (at least) 30 minutes lying on your back after the deed’s done.
And really… enjoy (thoroughly) the time, freedom, and good sleep you have when you don’t have children yet, as you might sorely miss that once baby arrives. XD
If you’re trying to conceive… here’s wishing you all the baby dust you deserve.